Do the Hirelings of Clargarser Still Want to Work for the Party after a Party Member Shot and Killed one of Them by Accident

So in the last session one of the PC’s fired his bow into a melee and killed one of the hirelings. Normally there is a paladin in the party and these things don’t happen; but this time there wasn’t and it did. The question is how this effect morale and the ability to attract hirelings in the future.

The first thing we have to figure out is whether the other hirelings saw the death of their comrade. Now it was dark and the hallway was pretty crowded. There were about five figures in between the hirelings. So, I am going to assign the base chance for a hireling to see a friend getting shot by one of their bosses at 15% and I am going to make that cumulative. So three hirelings have a 45% chance on noticing the OSHA violation.  Then I am going to subtract 5% for each intervening character. There was a pigman, two magic users, a mule and an orphan. That is minus 25%, so there is a 20% chance that henchmen saw the death.

Let’s Roll. I Got a 79. Everything is good so far.

The next issue is that after two hirelings were killed they were then raised from the dead as zombies along with a bunch of goblins by the evil magic-user in the party.  This creates two issues:

1: It provides ample opportunity to notice that one of the dead hirelings has an arrow sticking out of him that looks suspiciously like the arrows that one of the PCs use.

2: Seeing your former comrades animated into hollow mockeries of life and forced to do battle along side the goblins that killed them is unsettling (I would imagine).

I am going to say that each hireling had a 30% chance to notice the arrow over the course of the rest of the adventure let’s roll:

Ok I rolled a 20,

            

27,

and a 38. Two guys noticed. That’s not good.

Next we need to figure out how much these guys care about their comrade dying. Unfortunately, the henchmen in Clargarser have a lot of solidarity because they are all in the same religious cult and they also have class-consciousness because of the teachings of the Marxist paladin. On the other hand their cult is called the Corpse Worshippers so this might actually be a mitigating factor. I am going to say there is a 70% chance this is a good thing. 

I rolled another 38; that means corpse worshippers like being raised as zombies.

In conclusion: murder is bad but being raised as undead is good. The three surviving henchmen also got paid 238gp for their trouble. I am going to call it a wash and say that henchmen will not get harder to recruit unless it happens again.

Session Report: The New Dungeon Entrance

Today’s adventure began with finding a new dungeon/dungeon entrance. This was found some time ago by Belree the Antiquarian while searching for a chair Nese Geard Tower. The group - Zander, Lister, and Theodora - decide to set out and explore the staircase entrance. 

They travel to the tavern and recruit some men to fight for them. 4 Hired Men (3, 2a, 2b, and 1). And the Fighter from their last foray into the dungeon re-upped. After the passing of Moe last time it was decided that a new orphan would be taken in, cared for, and given charge of the mule in the dungeon. The orphan chosen was Abbey. 

Moving into the dungeon, or what we assumed to be the dungeon. The stairwell is wooden and has rotted through but it is decided that Zander will check out the space below with his climbing skills. 

When it was determined that the coast was clear the entire party (which included the 3 adventurers, 4 hired men, the orphan, the mule, and Bart the dog) traveled through a dimension door opened by Lister into the room below. 

The room was rough hewn and clearly older than a basement with small animal scratches on the walls. 

The party travelled forward encountering a small but rude/rowdy group of goblins who got into some word play with the group. After a brief scuffle involving Zander and a well shot arrow the goblins retreated. The group followed, coming upon a Goblin orgy/party. It was unpleasant to witness and the group retreated quickly placing Hold portal on the door. 

They continued, finding a door with two Pigmen and another group of goblins. 

The adventurers attacked, beating back the 4 with magic and weapons. Another group of goblins (5 of them) approached from behind. Once close enough Lister cast a webbing spell which trapped the goblins. They were subsequently lit on fire and killed. In the end the pig men, goblins, and 1 hired man (our repeat offender) succumbed to wounds. They pig men and goblins took out all of their anger on Zander, who survived but at a loss of quite a few hit points. 

Lister acted quickly, bringing all ten back to life as zombies!

With now a very large company the team set off again. They entered the room and found a filthy mess that looked as if another orgy had just finished in there. They looked under a Once nice rug and found only a “clean spot”. There was an ivory scepter taken by Lister that reeked of bad goblin sex. As well as a chest, the contents were removed and loaded on the mule. 

Theodora removed silver nipple rings from the pigmen’s nipples and pocketed them. 

They again encountered a door and on the other side could hear what sounded like goblins. Nasty, teasing goblins, playing games. The door was opened and it was quickly decided that they were in fact Bugbears. The door was then closed. When it was opened again the Bugbears were gone. 

The team then followed, traveling through a room that was actually a very large toilet. The orphan girl, Abbey, begins to lose her stomach (and her sanity). 

Through the room there was another door, which lead to a crossroads. To the left was the orgy room of the Goblins. Some of these venture out and begin humping and molesting their dead prior compatriots. Stating, “We mate for life.” Perhaps they did not know they were zombies. Maybe they didn’t care. To the right, the Bugbears. And straight ahead was another room where only the strong sound of wind could be heard. 

Following that path the company finds an unusual octagonal room behind use bronze doors emblazoned with snakes. In the center is a coiled snack as wide and thick as a man. And it is hungry. 

In exchange for their safe exit, the team promised the snake fresh meat (after it rejected the initially offered zombie corpse). Hired Man (#1) stays behind as “collateral” and the group imagines they will never see him alive again. 

The plan was for Theodora to charm the Goblin leader/king and lure him and thus his followers to the giant snake. On the way however they encounter a Flesh Gollum! The Gollum is fairly simple and just shambling along. The team lure him back toward the snack room and offer him up instead. 

The snake doesn’t love it but it too hungry to refuse. 

During his food processing, the snake is distracted by satiation. The team uses this time to skirt around the room and through another door. The door lead to another hall and a room filled with dedicated ancient snakes. Smaller ones, like garter snakes. And on the other side of the door at the other end of the room was a female goblin. A magic user. 

The group attacks and somewhat quickly defeats her. From her body they take ivory candlesticks (6), some wet fleshy scrolls (Lister), 8 golden nuggets shaped like heads (Theodora and Lister), and a metal ring of unknown origin (Theodora). 

From here they decide it is best time to leave and use the dimensional doorway to arrive above once more, ending the journey. 

Casualties from the party:

2 Hired Men. 

The Orphan’s sanity. 

3 Zombies (7 remain). 

The Man I Wanted to See is Dead

I don't like to talk about non-rpg adjacent stuff on this blog but right now I feel like screaming into the void about something.

There was this band called the Silver Jews and they held a mythical status in my mind long after I thought I could no longer feel like bands were made of mythical people or held mythical importance. The Silver Jews were really just one guy named David Berman. He was a guy I admired unironically and without reservation long after I thought I had forgotten how to be sincere forthright in my feelings.

He died yesterday. I had tickets to see him this coming Monday in Philly. I really related to his new album for personal reasons. Today I realized his album was probably a suicide note. Maybe it wasn't I'll probably never know. I might never know how he actually died although I think that everyone who cares has a pretty good idea. Maybe it was a heart attack or he choked or something. I don't know it that would make me feel better or worse.

This feels worse than when Kurt Cobain died. When Kurt died I couldn't really relate to dying. In the intervening decades though my mother has died and my estranged father has had a stroke. I've begun to feel old and I can imagine my own death with greater clarity and certainty.

I returned my ticket to the venue today and got my money back. It felt shitty.

There's a lot of horrible stuff going on right now. Stuff that is way worse; but this really hit me.

Totally a review of Knight of the Living Dead by Allen Varney

Section 1 Spooky Introduction:

This is my Thursday Evening. the Cover is by Jeff Easley. The interior art is by George Barr.
George Barr is 82 years old. Jeff Easley is only 64.

All right. I'm drinking wine and playing this solo quest. Allen Varney wrote this. He seems like a cool guy. This book is from 1989. The introduction features to lovers presumably going to bang in a cemetery, when they are killed. Hold on, sorry they are just put to sleep by spooky ghosts.

It is even more metal now. I am dead and the Allen is describing how much  I hate the living. I am super jealous of the living. Time for a sip of wine.

Holy shit I am being eaten by a weasel. This could have really used an illustration.

Guys, I killed the weasel.

A quarter of a column later I am talking to the dead weasel. I really need a picture of this weasel.

The weasel just told me I'm undead.

I googled weasel skeleton. They are freaky

Guys! In this choose your own adventure you are a suicidal skeleton that talks to a dead weasel. Allen Varney is a god.

Section 2 There are rules:

Crap now there are like 2 pages of rules out of nowhere. I need to go get a pencil.


OK. I'm back.

Here's the deal I am an undead paladin with amnesia who rolls a d12 to hit stuff. I have something called a cerebricule (I have no idea what that is), a magical sword, and weasel skull(sorry buddy). I am trying to recover my memory and stop being undead. And I have 24 hours and I have to keep track of what time it is. Sounds great. Wait. it turns out I have 24 hours to look for the "staff of waterdeep".

Section 3 Introduction again:

OK, that was jarring. Back to the narrative though. A lich is telling me what to do. I have already finished my first glass of wine and I still haven't gotten to make any choices. Ok. the lich says i have to find the staff that can destroy it even though it is scattered around Waterdeep in 12 parts not hurting him. You're losing me Varney. Cool lich drawing though.

You can ask about most of the items in this picture, which is weird and didn't really move the story forward. 

Guys. A cerebricule is a magic shrunken head. Now I get to make my first decision. IT's to ask about the liches wardrobe and some other stuff. I ask about one of the rings on his hand. It's the lich's wedding ring. The lich is a chick; now I am finding out about her ex-husband. Varney is back in top form.

Section 4: Adventure Time

Actually time for a flashback where I recall my past life. Turns out the liches ex husband and I used to hang out. The weasel skull is starting to get annoying. It's a know-it-all. I'm treating this like a seder in that I'm pouring a second glass of wine.

This is the cemetery. It's pretty

I've been poking around for a while and the shrunken heads fake Haitian accent is starting to get ridiculous. It's about 40 minutes in and I have gotten the skull drunk in the Hall of Heroes and wasted an hour. The skull is singing in Haitian accent. I am sure this is offensive.

In this picture you can see the bottle of wine I gave to the shrunken head. 

Now I am at a theater with a shitty stand up comic ghost. Maybe don't buy this book. After reading about the ghosts stand up routine I was able to get a piece of the staff of waterdeep. I also lost 2 hp from listening to shitty jokes. Allen Varney is a psychopathic madman.

This is the depiction of Waterdeep. It's covered in sleep gas or else there would have been way more buildings to draw. 

I am going to take a break. Varney did too good of a job capturing the atmosphere of seeing a shitty stand up comic.