Monday, October 30, 2017

Two Versions of Half-Orc


Introduction: Totally Skippable if you Just Want Gameable Content

In my home campaign I am aiming for a human centric world where demi-humans are rare and strange and humans are common and strange. However, I have a new player that wants to be a half-orc. He is, unlike most of my players, someone with prior roleplaying experience. He loves 4th edition so he is already making a number of concessions to play in a Holmes Basic game. So, while a normally might just say no, I felt inclined to say yes.

Currently, there are no orcs in my game (I don’t need a bunch of types of humanoids in my world because of where goblins come from). So, I have a clean slate to work with and I didn’t have any real ideas. So I asked the internet.

The two responses that were most compatible with my world were:

Hoping to breed the aggression out of orcs, a wizard used his craft to crossbreed orcs with humans. His hope was that he could then release these intellectually superior, and less violent, orcs into orc populations, where they would begin taking over as the dominant strain. Nobody ever said it was a good idea.


I like to think of half orcs as being a slur used by humans to put down another species. in fact the half orcs are neanderthals, struggling to survive in a world where humans have mostly replaced them.

Here are my half-orc race/classes based on the discussion:

Option 1 Weird Failed Crossbreeding Experiment:

A powerful wizard, hoping to harness and control the powers latent in goblins. He began studying a large goblin he called Orc. He eventually dissected and implanted parts of Orc into human embryos. He wanted to produce a sane version of a goblin that could organize and control other goblins. Through breeding he hoped to produce a more stable goblin.

Because most goblins appear to be male, female half-orcs far outnumber males. They reproduce though a bizarre ritual involving hunting down goblins and well, you know. Because of this other demi-humans find them repellent.

Half-orcs specialize in the use of nets, mancatchers and other weapons used for restraining, like bolos. They are plus one to hit with these weapons. Half=orcs have thieves abilities with the exception of backstab. In lieu of the backstab ability they have a special capture ability. If they can sneak up on an enemy from behind they are +4 to hit with a restraining weapon and a hit completely immobilizes any man-sized opponent. At level 4 they are able to subdue giant humanoids, but with only a normal chance to hit.

Additionally they have a brawling ability. They do 1d6 dmg without a weapon against mansized or smaller creatures. Infravision 30’ (this is modified from the orcish background on zenopus archives).
Hd 1d6+1 per level. Can advance to level 6. Use fighter xp table.

Option 2 Misunderstood Neanderthals:
“Half-orc” is an epithet based on a vicious misconception that Half-orcs are the product of a weird magical experiment. Half-orcs are humans mostly. They are dirty ugly primitive humans, short with high voices. They are devoted to pathetic mud gods, the only ones who will hear their prayers. Because they are looked down upon they have developed the ability to sneak around unnoticed.

They can also produce potions. They cannot turn undead.

Half-orcs advance as clerics and thieves simultaneously, splitting their xp between both classes. They role for additional hit points every time they advance in a class getting 1d6 per cleric level and 1d4 per thief level.
They can never build a stronghold or attract followers regardless of level.

They can create potions starting at Cleric level 1. The next when Thief level hits 3 and so on.
Level 1(cleric): Potion of animal friendship. +2 on all reaction rolls with animals/creatures with animal intelligence levels. 100gp to make and 1 week.
Level 3(thief): Potion of stealth + 20% to hide in shadows and move silently for 1d6 turns. 150 gp to make and 1 week.
Level 6 (cleric) Potion of Cure Disease. Cures disease as spell. 250gp to make and 1 week.
Level 8(thief) Potion of fixed Notion. Given to someone and then a command can be given to the drinker. The command then functions a suggestion spell that is permanent. The potion tastes like wine. 2000gp to make and 3 months.
Level 10 (cleric) Potion of animal bonding. When the half-orc shares this potion is an animal That animal will become the loyal follower of the half-orc. This potion can be used once for every follower that the half-orc would have attracted had he/she been a human cleric. This will work on any willing animal. The potion costs 4000gp and takes 3 months to prepare.

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These classes might be totally underpowered or game-breaking; I don’t know. I will be trying one out in my world soon.


Friday, October 27, 2017

Fish Cult Today: Session 2

Fish Cult Today: Session 2


The Party:

Lars Hootman, Random Fighter  (Ian Reilly)
Sappheon, Blue Wizard (Josh Rapp)
Barnabus Sleet, Muscle Wizard (Maxime Golubchik)
Emma Bright-Eyes, Muscle Witch (NPC henchwoman)
Sharene, Elf Muscle Wizard (NPC henchwoman)
Dale Bidwell, Fighter/Valet (NPC henchman)
Brutal Pete, Dwarf (Aleksandr Revzin)

The Child Labor:
Chauncy Sadshadow (NPC torch bearer)
Clarence Dungleavy (NPC torch bearer)

Barnabus and his NPC crew had travelled back and forth to Vyzor a few times and inveigled Sappheon and Hootman to come and help them move the statue of the woman coming out of the fish. They did not give a lot of details and at first Hootman and Sappheon were confused as to why a cult of fishmen and fish sympathizers wanted to kill them. It gradually came out that the statue that the party had removed from the dungeon was still very much in use and the cult wanted their statue back for their fish fertility rights.

Brutal Pete was smoking and trying to figure out how his life got to this point.

The party comes up with a plan to abscond with the statue. They cast a bunch of bullshit ridiculous spells and wind up riding a box with the statue in it as it slides down the hill to the south. Emma, who is now an owl (because obviously she can just turn into an owl whenever she wants, duh), sees that they are being pursued by a band of fishmen and hooded cultists with weird fish dogs.

The party is able to get far ahead of their pursuers on their frictionless box but they are still being pursued.

The party then relies on a misunderstanding of how the 3rd level spell fly works to ride the box another few thousand feet. This will never work again.

They then decide to hide in the bushes while Barnabus confronts the pursuers with his invisible demon pals.

There is a fight. One of the demons reveals itself. The party is doing well. The two most powerful of the pursuers hug each other and begin a weird fishy chant. The rest of the pursuers die trying to shield them. The human(ish turns out they are part fish) cultists are put to sleep.

The ritual just barely finishes as the party closes in on the embracing fish boys. The more human cleric’s head explodes and a bunch of gross blood stuff happens and an Avatar of Blibdoolploop climbs out of the whole in his neck, sucking the life force out of the remaining fishmen and consuming it.

The party examines their ridiculously overpowered magic items and concocts a plan. Emma charges the god and tries to get a magic acorn that can instantly grow into a tree into the god’s mouth. Unfortunately Emma succumbs to the maddening gaze of Blibdoolploop and is driven hopelessly insane when she gets within arms-length.

The next ridiculous magic item is up. It belongs to Brutal Pete (not Lars Hootman, who has 'no special powers'), it is a pearl or marble or something that gives the bearer the power to charm any undying being with a successful charisma check or something. It totally works. They charm the god. The item is consumed.


The party then orders Blibdoolploop around for 10 minutes. They have her get them the biggest pearl from the see (1100 gp pearl) and they have her teleport them along with the statue to Vyzor. They then tell her to return to her home plane, which she does just as she was about to kill them all.

Friday, October 20, 2017

Fish Cult Today: Session 1

The Party:
Magic Meryl, Magic User (Nick Kuntz)
Arthur (NPC Terrier)
Pitwin Spryneedle (NPC Gnome)
Brax The Savage, Barbarian (Brad Black)

Barnabus Sleet, Muscle Wizard (Maxime Golubchik)
Emma Bright-Eyes, Muscle Witch (NPC henchwoman)
Sharene, Elf Muscle Wizard (NPC henchwoman)
Dale Bidwell, Fighter/Valet (NPC henchman)
Brutal Pete, Dwarf (Aleksandr Revzin)

The Child Labor:
Chauncy Sadshadow (NPC torch bearer)

Clarence Dungleavy (NPC torch bearer)

Barnabus Sleet had been messing around in town getting into trouble with his entourage. It started with some amateur obstetrics and ended in a side alley. Luckily, Brax the Savage, Brutal Pete, and Magic Meryl showed up before Barnabus and crew left the adventuring life to open up a clinic.

They all decided to head into dungeon with their fish child thing in a sack.
Once in the dungeon they fought a flying dagger. They then captured the flying dagger tied it to some rocks and put it in a different sack. Luckily Brax is good with rocks (or something?). So far their treasure consisted of an evil fish baby and an evil flying dagger.

Then they found some jewelry.

Then they were ambushed by fully-grown fish men in diapers. Everyone acquitted themselves well (except for Arthur who was chewing on dead people) and the fish men retreated leaving a trail of nasty fish blood.


Arthur was willing to follow the nasty fish blood. The party travelled down some stairs into a room with a prominent piece of sculpture. A 6 by 6 foot wide stature of a fish rising out of the waves with an open mouth and rising out of that open mouth was a nude female figure. The piece was black marble and several tons. The party decided that they must possess it.

So, they left for the day to memorize different spells.

The next day they returned with some ridiculous spells I have never heard of. They hurried back to the room of the statue where they were confronted by a six diaper fish led by a diaper fish cleric. The diaper fish cast their spears, the diaper cleric cast silence on Magic Meryl. The party fought hard and crushed the diaper fish. Barnabus was paralyzed. Then the fish baby fought its way out of the sack and bit him for 4 points of damage. It was all over though not even the fish baby’s cowardly sneak attack could stop the party. They spiked the door and spent the rest of the day removing the statue with magic, elbow grease, and a series of ropes and pulleys.

They managed to get the statue just outside the entrance to the dungeon where they made camp. It remains to be seen how the fish men and their cult will react to having a valuable statue stolen.


Maps Provided byBrutal Pete:

Floor 1


Floor 2




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