Monday, February 15, 2021

What Happens to lost Hirelings? The Hireling Abandonment Table

Here’s a thing that happened a couple weeks ago:

Sexy Long Beard was the first to throw himself in and be whisked away. The rest of the group followed behind with some serious trepidation. They were dragged along on the least fun water ride of their life eventually falling into a quickly running stream. Sven and Theodora leapt from the waters, following the surprisingly lithe Sexy Long Beard. Ves and Ember jumped out after them. The hired men had far more issues.
Adonis, Dinkle, X, and Y, were swept away, unable to escape the torrent of water and washed over another waterfall and out of view, only their screams to be heard. Z was the only one to escape. He immediately wished to look for his fellows but was stopped buy the group and convinced to stay with them.

 

Because of this I had to figure out what happened to the hirelings.

So here is my solution:

Hireling Abandonment Table


For each hireling lost during a delve roll on the Hireling Abandonment Table.
Hirelings that are lost in the same room can be rolled together and share a fate.
Add 1 to the roll for each level below the surface the hireling is and subtract 1 from the roll for each hireling lost in the same room. If the result is that the hireling is lost reroll on the chart every week until he is held hostage killed or escapes.

1

Hireling escapes from dungeon with a haul of treasure. roll treasure type A. 

2

Hireling escapes from dungeon. 

3

Hireling is lost. place on wandering monster table one level above where lost or 1st level of dungeon if already on 1st level.

4

Hireling is lost. place on wandering monster table on same level where lost.

5

Hireling is lost. place on wandering monster table one level below where lost.

6

Hireling held one level above where lost or 1st level of dungeon if already on 1st level

7

Hireling held hostage on same level where lost.

8

Hireling held hostage by creatures one dungeon level below where lost.

9

Dead place corpse and equipment on wandering monster table for dungeon floor where last seen

10

Dead place corpse on wandering monster table for dungeon floor where last seen

11

Dead place head on wandering monster table for floor of dungeon the hireling was last seen

12

Very Dead body missing forever

It is worth noting that my dungeon has an ample supply of fungus to eat and most denizens are not immediately hostile. You may wish to make a more deadly table or to roll more often than 1/week.

Saturday, February 13, 2021

The Day of The Were-Shark (Alternate Title: Sharknado Meets The Dungeon and People Fucking Die) - February 7th 2021

 The day actually started out more than normal. It was quiet. Some characters might have thought it an uninteresting morning. 


Theodora had learned the ventriloquism spell from Xylarthan; Ember and Ves chose not to learn an additional spell when there was some disagreements regarding cost of knowledge.


Leaving the orphans behind at their stronghold, Nese Gard; Theodora, Sven, Ves, Ember, and Lorna Doone, along with the (possible) treasure map they had discovered on the desiccated corpse they found in the dungeon, travelled to the only place of religious knowledge they could think of. The House of Nodens. There they met up with a priest (or high monk) who they had once upon a time discovered in the dungeons, Ludul. He was more than happy to help and answer any questions. Religion was his calling after all. He was a student of it. 


Theodora, herself interested in local religions as they were so different from those of her homeland, had many questions. 


The party came to find out that local months shared names with many of the local deities. 


**Gods**


(First Month) Chronoplus/Chronos - Time (Male)

(Second Month) Boccob - Magic

(Third Month) Heget - Fertility (Female, has the head of a Frog, worshiped by Dagonites - a fish and frog humanoid)

(Fourth Month) Yahondeh - ?

(Fifth Month) Nefertem - Beauty (Male, represented by the Lily, Good/Lawful)

(Sixth Month) Inanna - ?

(Seventh Month) Shezmu - ? 

(Eight Month) Donblas - Justice (Male, Golden, appears as a beautiful man or a cherubic baby) - **Idol Recovered, known as The Butt Plug, stuck permanently in the dungeon

(Ninth Month) Nang Kwak - ?

(Tenth Month) Istus - Fate (Female, Neutral)

(Eleventh Month) Nodens - Sleep (Male, worshipped by a sect of ancient Elves who lived in the dungeons and survived on mushrooms) - **Idol Recovered 

(Twelfth Month) Arawn - Otherworld/Underworld - Death (Male, Lawful)


Nergul - Entropy (Male, Chaotic, appears as a many headed dragon, a man, a demon, or a snake)

Ereshkigal - possible Goddess

Dagon - possible God (possible God of the Dagonites?)

Arawn’s Spine - Mountain range named for Arwan 



Theodora had many more questions. While Ludul new of three gods that represented Death there were none that represented Birth, which she found strange. It was equally strange that the man seemed to have holes in his memory or knowledge. Almost as if Ludul had forgotten the information. He asked if the party wished to speak with some of the Elves living in the temple who had long worshipped Nodens and perhaps knew more.


They agreed. Theodora made an offering of coin and a flask of wine and the group joined the worshippers for a simple lunch. At that time they were able to speak with many of the Elves there who were ancient and had long lived in the dungeons. They told the part a few more interesting pieces of history/religion.


**Further Information**


Nergul had fought Donblas. Like two sides of the same coin; one beautiful, golden, and lawful, the other demonic, dark, and chaotic (though Nergul had fallen to Chaos and had not always been Chaotic). 


The Elves knew of the Goddess Heget, a fertility goddess who had been worshipped by dungeon humanoids known as the Dagonites (a fish and frog people). The Elves did not know their exact home or if they even still existed but thought they might offer more insight. The Elves also referenced a Serpent people who had been their enemies. Both groups likely lived on at least the third floor of the dungeon or possibly lower. 


They also spoke of an Ancient Library that they had seen in their dreams of the dungeon. It was a massive room filled with many many books. It was a carved out proper room, not a natural cavern. The library was staffed by ancient humans, those who had lived long ago, and were beautiful young maidens. They could not help the party place where the library may be in the dungeon but it was suggested that a member of the party could hope to find it by taken Noden’s sleep potion and entering the dreams of the Elves in the future. 



The party ventured to Nupos’ to make some purchases and then to the tavern to see if any townsfolk had more religious information for them. That was a resounding no. However, their hired men were there and had recovered from their dark and scary time being abandoned in the dungeon with no light for two weeks and were willing to join the party once again. So they journeyed down into the basement and beyond into the dungeon. 


They quickly found their way to the Goblin Battle room and went down the spiral staircase. From there the party travelled to the Trog Battle room but upon opening the door found a party of eight Goblins. Sigh.


The party can no skirt by the Goblins but don’t wish to provoke a fight, instead they open by asking what religion the Goblins are and if they have heard of the Dagonites or Donblas. They whips them into a frenzy, focused on Sven, who had mentioned the names. And thus a battle ensued.


Theodora could not use magic as the Goblins surrounded Sven and she would have injured her friend as well as their attackers so the group entered into melee. Fairly quickly one Goblin had was nearly decapitated by a viscous attack and another had its chest caved in by Sven’s hooves. 


Sven sustained some damage as the Goblins seemed heavily focused on attacking him, but with the help of their hired men, the adventurers eventually prevailed, killing all eight attackers. Theodora and Lorna Doone went through their belongings. Their swords and weapons were shoddy and deemed worthless. They had on them 43 copper pieces and nothing else of value so their bodies were left. 


Wanting to map some sections of the dungeon that the party was unsure of they made their easy south toward the slug room but turned off to the west following a corridor, which lead them back to the room with the desiccated corpse where they had liberated the floating red and green gems. They continued west and rediscovered the hall where they had met the Mushroom people, which housed the fountain with an Owl Bear turned to stone at it’s center. At the end of the corridor was a bas relief of a snake.


They came across a group of insect-like humanoids who Ember was able to converse with in Elvish. They had possibly seen the Dagonite people before and suggested the party head to the third level of the dungeon and then travel north, where they had previously headed south.


Continuing through the south door proved not possible at the time so the group went back to the Slug Room , continued south, and made it to the long corridor beyond the stone bridge. The party made their way back to the pool room to explore the far western wall, which they found held no significance. 


With only a little time remaining before they planned to return to the surface the group opted to check down the eastern most corridor on the south wall, just to peek and see if there was anything worth taking, examining, etc.


They found a long corridor over 100 feet long that ended in an rounded section of wall with a statue. The statue was large, life sized, and on a plinth of stone. It could not be easily moved. It was an Elven warrior fighting a snake with the word “Forget” carved into it.


Ember wondered if the statue could be an idol. There was no exact definitions on the size of the idols.  It was also significant as the Elves had mentioned their dungeon enemies, the serpent people, and the party had learned about Nergul the Chaotic god who could appear as a snake/serpent. There had also been the relief of the serpent on the wall. 


It was suggested that the other corridor could hold a similar statue and that maybe with a second statue we would know more as there have been many dualistic qualities to the dungeon as of late. Ves offered to quickly check the other corridor, taking the lantern with them.


Theodora, Sven, Ember and Lorna Doone began to walk down the corridor as well to go back to the pool room. The hired men with them.


As they walked down the parallel corridor Ves  saw the space open into a large room and then heard something coming toward them. They turned to hightail it out of there. As they made it back to the pool room the rest of the party was just exiting the previous corridor. And the creatures attacked.


Theodora stepped forward and cast sleep on the creatures, which did nothing. Sven and Ember attacked. The hired men, afraid, turned and ran for the exist, heading north. Theodora told them to open and hold the door to the Slug Room and the adventurers would follow. Ves cast Protection from Evil on themselves.


The beasts looked like humanoid sharks. They had the front arms of humans with talons and powerful hind legs resembling a dog. 


Ember used the Valkyrie spear and cause damage to one of them. The others appeared to heal almost immediately when attacked making them appear indestructible when faced with non-magical weapons. However, Ember was the only member of the party with magical weapons.


Theodora chose not to waste another spell on the creatures and turned for the door, running. Ember went to retrieve her spear, which was lodged in one of the creatures but as she did it chomped into her midsection, tearing her apart. She was very near death and unconscious. 


Another creature set on Ves and Lorna Doone also turned to run and escape down the corridor. Sven was able to grab Ember with his teeth and drag her away from the wounded creature, and run. Ves fought the beast off her themselves and also made to run. 


Heading down the corridor the shark humanoids gave chase. The hired men had in fact held the door. Theodora entered the Slug Room with Sven and Ves coming from behind but Lorna, wearing heavy plate armor had fallen somewhat further back from the group. One of the creatures snapped at her back and was able to grab ahold of her, biting into her body and killing her almost instantly. 


No one was capable or able to return for Lorna as they were already carrying Ember but without Lorna to heals her wounds Ember succumbed to her injuries before the party could even make it back to the first floor of the dungeon.


They thankfully did not run into any more monsters on their way out of the dungeon and travelled immediately to Xylarthan’s tower to see what could be done for Ember and to ask what those creatures could have possibly been.


Xylarthan confirmed Theodora’s nervous suspicion. They were Were-Sharks. And once bitten by a Were-Shark, the bitten party, would also become a Were-Shark.


Lorna’s body had been abandoned to the dungeon and it was likely she would become one of their race and the same was possibly true for Ember. The wizard was not entirely sure. The adventurers offered to pay for her to be reincarnated, which Xylarthan agreed to but first he would need to do some research. Theodora offered more of her time than usual as his apprentice in order to help Ember and a rather untoward suggestion of what exactly she planned to do with that additional time was made. 


In the mean time Ember was chained up in the tower and the preparations for her reincarnation began with Xylarthan and Theodora busy at work.


And with heavy hearts the remaining members of the team returned to their stronghold to check on their orphans and wait for more news.


- Theodora


Night's Dark Terror Playthrough

 

This is my character as you can see I put a lot of work into this drawing

Ok I’m playing through Night’s Dark Terror online. Some people have characters with high ability scores. I somehow managed to roll nothing higher than a 10. I named my character Yutnib. She’s a cleric.

Session 1:

Anyway we start out the game in Karmeikos, probably. I don’t really remember but I am pretty sure and even though my character is lawful she has somehow found herself in the stocks. People are throwing food at her. Next to her is a thief. So I guess my character is kind of like Jesus Except there is only one thief and She’s not being crucified and she is a level 3 cleric and not the son of god.

This is what you look like when you have an 18 strength. Also I am just going to be stealing everyone's art


Anyway luckily, the guards are distracted by a play put on by a theater company that was called something like the “Fart Hole theater Company”. Not exactly but close enough. So we get freed by the rest of the party who buy into the idea that they would free criminals they don’t know from the stocks in broad daylight and then go on an adventure with them.

Also there is a guy that is willing to hire us right out of the stocks. He pays us 100gp each to go get some horses from a place called Sukiskyn. We get on a boat the next day. The boat is being rowed upstream. We try not to dwell on the labor conditions of the oarsmen. Luckily, we are distracted from the class disparity by a goblin attack.

They stop are boat with a chain across river and some sort of hastily constructed rock edifice (that part wasn’t entirely clear). Anyway we can neither go up the river nor drift back. One of the oarsmen is working for the goblins Yutnib hits him. He dies somehow later. The point is we were wrong to feeling sorry for the working class because they could all be secretly in league with goblins.

We repel the goblins after something to do with one of our party members crawling to shore on the chain and then coming back without doing anything.

The magic user is 3d

We make it to our destination, which is some person’s house. She is dead. We don’t find her but we find her bear. Yutnib feeds the bear. The thief finds the body of the person we were supposed to meet and mutilates the corpse. this angers the bear. Everyone fights the bear. I was rooting for the bear. IO the magic user casts web and traps the bear. We cut our comrades free and go to sleep.


Session 2:

This is Scrud Pud, team mascot

In session two we met Scrud Pud The Goblin and fed him bagels. We are in some fort and there are no horses because goblins took them. Scrud Pud says they are looking for an ancient scroll or something. So.. maybe the goblins think the horses have them?

There was also a long battle where the goblins were trying to kill us. They didn’t. Scrud Pud the goblin was very sad because the goblin leader was killed. That was our bad.

If no one else remembers we are going to have to ask the NPCs what we are supposed to be doing again. 
In session two we met Scrud Pud The Goblin and fed him bagels. We are in some fort and there are no horses because goblins took them. Scrud Pud says they are looking for an ancient scroll or something. So.. maybe the goblins think the horses have them?

There was also a long battle where the goblins were trying to kill us. They didn’t. Scrud Pud the goblin was very sad because the goblin leader was killed. That was our bad.

If no one else remembers we are going to have to ask the NPCs what we are supposed to be doing again. 

This is a more idealized rendition of Scrud Pud

Wednesday, February 3, 2021

Naked Goblins, Haunted Hired Men, and an Orphan That Pooped a Gem; Recap 1/31/2021

We return to our adventure with the group sifting through their young ward’s feces after she swallowed a potentially hazardous/magical red gem, which the group had found floating around a decaying corpse sitting on a throne. 


The orphans continued to be tied together to prevent them from running away and getting hurt. But they have been fed good meals and taken for walks outside of the tower, though within the walls of the grounds. 


Sven was nominated to use his hooves, as it seemed more sanitary, to go through the poop.


The gem was recovered, the team rejoiced, and set off for a visit to Xylarthan’s tower. The orphans joined, still attached to one another, for safety, and sat on Sven’s back.


As the adventurers travelled through the bar they again announced that they would be looking for their lost hired men. While also pointing out that the children were being safely cared for. Other patrons seemed suspicious and wary of the group.


Xylarthan did not know anything about the gems specifically outside of the fact that they were magical. He moved them around his head and showed the group that they floated around his head as well. 


He offered them 250 gold pieces per gem.


Ember took a gem to see if the gems would float for her as well. They did.


The group however still voted to sell the gems and allow Xylarthan to study them.


Xylarthan also expressed some serious concerned for the safety of the orphans. He offered 50 gold per orphan but was denied. The group is intent on training the children with a skill for adventuring. And may possibly need their assistance in the dungeon at some point.


When that was settled they returned to the dungeon to begin their search for a connection between the current dungeon and the section where the Mushroom people lived in hopes of connecting all of their current maps.


It was decided that it would be safer for the group, with the children on Sven’s back, to go down the spiral staircase in the old Goblin Battle room. It was determined the room was safe after Ember listened at the door and it appeared the living gargoyles had left the room. The group did find the body of Ernie, a former hired man, and Ember took his spear for “protection”.


They reappeared at the bottom of the stairs in the church room with the “butt plug” idol, which was also empty.


It didn’t take long to move through to the “Slug” room where the adventurers opted to go through the southern door across the water. They walked down the corridor until it turned off to the west and followed along that way, hoping to bypass the heaviest amounts of fungus and reach the far western areas previously unmapped. 


The hallway spilled out into a large room, too large to see all of the details but there was a large pool in the center, about 10 feet from each wall, and within the pool was 12 bathing, laughing, goblins. They were naked.


The group cringed a little and then skirted around the edge of the room, hoping to avoid being noticed. There was a wide corridor on the north wall that the adventurers aimed for but they did not escape the goblin’s notice. 


Things quickly escalated as the goblins started climbing out of the pool. Theodora stepped forward to cast sleep as they moved toward their weapons and managed to put 9 of the 12 to sleep. The team then fought the final remaining goblins. Ember hit one while the rest of the team moved forward. Theodora cast burning hands, killing the remaining goblin and burning the other two. They chose to flee.


The group did what they do best and went through other people’s possessions. The goblins had with them a small decorated chest. There was an old crank on the side. Inside of the chest was 3000 silver pieces, which were loaded into Sven’s saddle bags.


When the crank was turned the chest played a haunting melody, which no one recognized. It too was loaded up.


Journeying down the northern corridor the team came to a room where the water continued to flow. Continuing north they came to the passage that had been filled with an almost moving, slithering, fungus and turned to the east instead. This brought them to another turn and another corridor, closer to the Owl Bear’s nest. And then they stumbled upon their former hired men; Dingle, X, Y, and Z. They were processing some trauma and dealing with a massive amount of shit.


The group removed them from the dungeon as they had always stated that they would, fulfilling that promise. And in their guilt spent 750 gold (!!! WTF) on food and drinks, and I can only assume some kind of “entertainment” in hopes of placating the men and helping them feel somewhat better.


- Theodora



Dungeon Meshi for Dungeons and Dragons: Ape to Bear

 I was talking to a friend on twitter. This is my one internet friend I have who I met in person at a con. He wanted a supplement based on s...