Clargarser: Prominent NPCs

Fablon Wagshank: Head of the Corpse Worshippers

Fablon lives in and runs the Corpse Worshipper compound, reporting only to Tehedrin, the immortal corpse founder.

Traits:

• gruff
• shakes with excitement when imagining violence
• Messianic Ideation

Fablon Hires out Mercenaries from his crew of Corpse Worshippers. There are currently 24 living Corpse Worshippers. Fablon can organize larger groups of Militia on a case by case basis.

Mercenary Recruitment Chart

Season	Recruitment Fee	Mercenaries Available	Payment
Spring	30 gp	1d4	1/2 share
Summer	10 gp	2d6	1/4 share
Winter	20 gp	2d6	1/2 share

Aleena Lymro: Head of the Larchmont Clinic

Aleena runs the medical clinic attached to the Corpse Worshipper compound. 

Traits:

• obsessed with earwax
• white knuckled
• teetotaler

You can pay 20gp/week to stay at the clinic. This guarantees maximum natural healing and gives a +2 on any save vs. disease or poison at the end of the week.

Tehedrin: Worshipped Corpse, Bartender

Tehedrin is a skeleton in plate mail armor with a seemingly magic sword. The Corpse Worshippers treat him like a demigod. He is the bartender at the tavern in the Corpse Worshipper compound. 

Traits:

• creepy
• wants to give people their idols back
• more Vincent Price than Skeletor

Carousing at the Corpse Worshipper bar

Carousing in a town like Clargarser where disease and famine have devastated the liquor supply is relatively safe. Here's how you do it.

1. Roll a d8.
2. Remember that number
3. Multiply that number by 50. You gain that much xp and pay that much in gp to the bar.
4. Divide the number by 2 (round up) and Subtract it from your constitution score and remember that number too. Let's call this your "party score"
5. Roll a d20.
6. If the number is under your party score everything is fine. the end.
7. If that number is over your party score, you have vomited on one of the prominent NPCs in town and cannot use their services until you make a gift to them of 100gp * your level. 

Xylarthen: New Wizard in the Tower

He killed Raglom in battle and now he has moved in to Raglom's tower to steal all the dead wizard's knowledge. He has managed to raise his intelligence score since his debut in Men & Magic

Traits:

1. Handsy (sigh)
2. Arrogant
3. Has no emotional investment in whether anyone lives or dies

Wizarding Services and Costs

Currently these are the services that Xylarthen offers. He may provide more as his research continues.

1. Reincarnation: There is a 35% chance that Xylarthen has a scroll of reincarnation on hand. If he does it costs 10,000 gp to get reincarnated.
2. Remove Curse: Xylarthen will cast remove curse for 400gp + 100 gp for every level your character is over level 4. You will have to wait 1d4 days for him to memorize the spell.
3. Spell tutelage: If you want to learn a spell that Xylarthen knows, he will teach it to you for 200gp * spell level for spells level 1-3 and 500gp * spell level for levels 4 and up.
4. Divination: 1/week Xylarthen can cast the 4th level spell question (Blueholme p. 34) for 500gp. You will have to wait 1d4 days for Xylarthen to have time.

Mo Afsa: Black Smith

Just a blacksmith. any weapons or armor of the basic equipment list but you may have to wait.  Suits of armor will take at least 2 weeks to make.  

Nupo the Gnome: Merchant, General Store Owner

1. This guy's personality changes. Often over the course of a conversation. 

2. His accent changes too. I am not very good at voices.

Session Report: The Construction of Nese Geard and the Death of an Orphan

Adventure Day 1 (after a 3 month relaxation/rebuilding period)

The squad - Larchmont, Xander, Lister, Herbert, Theodora (now a gnome after her reincarnation), and Sven - have spent the winter building a stronghold in the town they previously destroyed (specifically in the rich section of town). Their large round tower is modest but well appointed and tasteful. Boasting a moat (which is actually a 10 foot wide by 10 foot deep ditch as they have yet to find water), a drawbridge, a small outdoor animal shelter, MANY slit and regular windows (covered in oiled paper - they could not yet justify the expenditure of glass), scavenged furniture from locally destroyed dwellings AND a secret tunnel that allows them passage beyond their moat and within the city limits into an abandoned but stable abode (some 50’ from the edge of their ditch). There is housing for the mule, the owl bear, and Theodora’s new pet Terrier - Bartholomew (Bart). As well as all of the adventurers. There is even a plush velvet chaise/fainting couch. The tower was christened Nese Geard (Neverland).  

Money was saved by using local building materials (aka the detritus left behind by the towns destruction). But more money was needed for digging the moat (ditch) and tunnel for the same reason. All in all, costs were around 11,000 gold. But it’s really all about REBUILDING THE ECONOMY. Two guards were brought on to care for the tower and a hired man (Level 1 Fighter, Armor Class 2) was a acquired. 

The Nese Geard Tower (complete)

During the time off Theodora worked through the stages of grief and came to terms with her new form. She is very thankful to her compatriots for resurrecting her. She has also used her time to train a street dog (Bart) to be a companion (which aids her with her new small stature) as well as craft a number of magical scrolls. 

Also during this long winter of building and scrounging the Owl Bear has grown! He is now the size of a dog and becoming more difficult to control. An animal trainer was sought. None survived the destruction of the town though (unfortunately). The Owl Bear requires a lot of food. Which has resulted in the team feeding it the rotting unburied corpses of the towns dead. This has resulted in the animal developing a taste for human flesh. Not a positive when combined with its strength and growing size...

The caravan of food has returned with 75 out of 100 people who left with it. Population numbers in town are low. 500 or so. The Corpse Worshippers have also lost many members to illness and desertion. But the people were happy for the supplies!

The merchant who returned with the caravan, a man whose name I can not recall, showed some interest in the Owl Bear when Larchmont mentioned it to him. He offered 900 gold pieces. The adventurers (Larchmont, Herbert, and Theodora) suggested something like 1000 gold pieces if they threw in Owl Bear feed for the journey. As this was the rotting corpses of local people the offer was rebuffed and the team accepted the 900. The merchant left mildly disgusted and quite disturbed.  So much for Paladin goodness and honor! The people of this town have become so desensitized!

Then it was time to head back to the dungeon! The coffers would not refill themselves. 

In the bar built by the adventurers Larchmont, Herbert, and Theodora (with their hired man, the dog Bart, the mule, and their orphan boy/mule leader/torch holder) meet up with some prior acquaintances - the merchant (still disturbed) and the new leader of the Tower, the powerful wizard who brought Theodora back to life (as a gnome...). Pleasantries were made and rebuffed as Larchmont and Herbert immediately acted too friendly with the man. But he and Theodora shared a connection and he offered to teacher her more advanced magic during her off time. There was an odd attraction between the older man and the (ADULT) gnome. Both parties look forward to their next meeting. 

Moving on, the team chose to avoid the Corpse Worshippers leader, the skeleton man, in the banquet room as they STILL have not found his idols AND took a 3 month long break. And the one they did find (known as “the butt plug”) is currently stuck/unretrievable. 

The dungeons looked a little different than their last visit. Not only due to a few map malfunctions. But they were covered in a yellow/gray mold. Thicker in some places than others and with toadstools growing from it. 

This mold was believed by the party to be dangerous and they did their best to avoid it. 

Encountered while in the dungeons were - 2 man sized naked mole rat creatures, 3 giant spiders, and 2 large flesh toned snakes. 

The rats and spiders were fairly easily dispatched. Though Herbert was briefly poisoned by spider venom and inhaled some of the mold (he recovered during a quick break). The snakes were a bit more challenging. During the encounter with them Larchmont was bit in the face and on his remaining hand (he recovered), the dog was bit in the leg (he quickly recovered), and the orphan boy was bit in the throat. Sadly, he died there and was left in the dungeons. 

The party chose to kill two birds with one stone and send him off like a Viking while also seeing if the mold would burn. A Molotov cocktail was tossed into the mold filled room with the corpse of the boy. 

Very little happened. The room was too wet. After, it was still moldy and smelly. And the boy’s body was barely singed. 

The party decided the mold was not likely a threat then (as clearly they were fine and a number of other creatures were living amidst the mold) and returned to the Giant Slug/rushing water room and explored into a new part of the dungeon. The mold continued there. They did not get very far though as Herbert was late for a dinner appointment. 

All made it to the surface and back to Nese Geard safely. Minus the orphan boy. His name was Moe. RIP Moe. 

- Erika (Theodora)

What Did I Just Read?

I'm just going to ramble about a book I read while taking some long bus rides this weekend.

I couple months ago I bought an adult fantasy novel by accident.  I thought it would be a typical Conan knock off but no the 33rd installment of the Richard Blade series: Killer Plants of Binnark is the type of book that features our subplot where one of the characters tries to force the main character to breed with her 14 year old daughter after she has sex with him. After a brief discussion Richard Blade agrees to marry the daughter and then has sex with the mother again. Also, there are man eating plants.

Here is an overview of the main conceit of the series from the Glorious Trash Blog:

 It’s pretty goofy, a long-running melding of the men's adventure genre with “heroic fantasy,” all about a James Bond-type who, each volume, is sent via a high-tech computer into “Dimension X,” where he tests himself in some quasi-Medieval, fantastical world, scoring with tons of scantily-clad babes along the way.

Joe Kenney's above excerpted review of the first novel mentions that the word "fellatrix" appears multiple times, but I still think it downplays how libertine these societies that our hero Blade visits are. In Killer Plants of Binnark Blade is held prisoner, we are given an almost lustful description of the deterioration of Blades body in captivity and then some guy comes in to interrogate Blade and one of the first things he asks is if Blade has had sex with his daughter yet.

My take away was that it is a good thing for Richard Blade that the he can never visit the same dimension twice because he does not use protection. This is a series about an interdimensional deadbeat dad.

Finally, don't worry Blade is whisked back to his own dimension before he has the opportunity to consummate his marriage to the 14 year old.

Here's Some more info.