Doominator’s Dangerous Delve

 So one of my player’s in my online game decided he wanted to ceded control of his character to me and go exploring the first level of the Holmes Basic Dungeon. The easy thing to do would be to just give him the map. He is a 5th level Gold Dragon.

I am an idiot though. So, let’s come up with some rules. I know a little bit about this player’s attitudes. The first thing is that his characters all react strongly to monster body horror/monster sexy time. I don’t aim to put that type of stuff into my dungeons. When I read a module that has that stuff in it, I think it’s stupid. But When I actually run a game... There’s something wrong with me.

So, I am going to give Doominator the gold Dragon 10 Klang Tolerance Points, or KTPs. Doominator will lose a KTP whenever he encounters one of the monsters in the dungeon that have evolved into gross weirdos ie kobolds and goblins. Then I will make a reaction roll. A positive reaction roll means that Doominator ignores whatever weird nonsense is happening. Negative means that he attacks, causing noise and possibly attracting more monsters. When Doominator runs out of KTPs he will leave the dungeon after presumably telling the dungeon master that he is some sort of sexual deviant.

Doominator the put upon gold dragon

That brings us to the second thing. I am not going to do combat by myself. Doominator will be able to kill anything on the 1st level of the dungeon. His entourage could be in danger though. So we are going to give them an entourage survival score. NPCs have a base 50% chance to survive an encounter. They then have +2% per hitpoint and +4% per AC point below 9 (these numbers are totally made up.) They have blah blah blah. Let’s make a chart:

Level above 1	+5
Per hit point	+2
AC point below 9	+4
If the party has more members then the monsters	+5 for each NPC in excess of number of monsters
You’re a wizard	+10
Having a missile weapon	+8
For each +1 on weapon in Npcs possession	+5
For each HD the monsters have	-5
For Each ac Point below 9 monsters have	-3
If the monsters outnumber the party	-5 (each extra monster)
Monster has paralysis	-6
Monsters have missile weapons	-3

Neat... and totally arbitrary.

Let’s meet the entourage:

Darby Thief lv 2 has missile weapon AC 7  hp:  5 base survival chance: 81%

Meepers Thief lv 2 has missile weapon AC 7 hp:  4 base survival chance: 79%

Lodine Magic user lv 2 AC 9 hp: 6 base survival chance: 72%

Geraldo Fighting man lv 1 AC 4 hp: 5 base survival chance: 80%

Guiseppe The 0 level carpenter (he won’t be doing any fighting)

Seems pretty scary.

Doominator is a 5th level gold dragon though. There is basically nothing that can kill him besides a guilty conscience after he sends a bunch of hirelings to their deaths.

 Ok, Adventure time.

Turn 1: Doominator and entourage head into his basement. and watch Guiseppe fix a door.

...1 hour later: door fixed. The carpenter heads up and starts working on the roof of the tower.

Turn 2: The party heads north into the rotating statue room and poke around. Before heading east So far so good.

Turn 3: The party keeps heading east and find some giant rats. Reaction roll says they give the rats some food or something. Doominator is apparently strutting around the dungeon like he is running for mayor, handing out bribes and kissing rat babies. The party heads south.

Turn 4: Cool room. Let’s keep going.

Turn 5: neat Doominator has managed to travel in a circle and is back in the Thaumaturgist’s  underground lab. He thinks about the good times. Before heading back to the unexplored part of the dungeon.

Turn 6 and 7: Doominator had wanted to rest but instead the party comes across some koblolds doing weird kobold stuff in the Sundial room. Doominator is now at 9 KTP.  However he manages to maintain focus and heads north to rest. But looks like there is a full on kobold orgy, which is basically egg rubbing going on in the rushing stream room (don’t ask) 8 KTP. Doominator ferries they party across the river while trying to avoid getting sticky.

Turn 8: Great goblins.... 7 KTP. Doominator however has the patience of a saint and manages to ignore Their nonsense.

Turn 9: cool a sea cave. There is a major smuggling Kuo Toa hybrid operation going on down here. Doominator is playing it cool with a 9 on his reaction roll and leaves without starting a fight. Eyes on the mapping prize.

Turn 10: cool. A breezy tour passed some nonplussed smugglers.

Turn 11: Oh god not this again. 6 KTP. Don’t make eye contact. Keep moving.

Turn 12: A rest by the stairs.

Turn 13:  A spiked door. More kobolds fighting each other and eating each other and eating themselves. Where did all these freaks come from. A couple you’ve seen have been wearing hats. 5 KTP. Doominator rolls an 11 for his reaction roll. He is engaging in passive resistance.

Turn 14: Neat coffin room. 10 reaction roll. Even the Kuo toa you meet are chill today.

Turn 15: It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood. You find some stairs leading down.

Turn 16: Try and avoid those kobolds. Find some more stairs. In a room with a bunch of dead  kobolds and 1 goblin jacking it. 5 KTP. Doominator keeps his distance and leaves the room before things go from edgy indie film to straight up pornography.

Turn 17: Avoiding rooms with weird stuff thank you very much.

Turn 18: Let’s rest by this weird well. Doominator does not trust the dungeon enough to read whatever writing is on that wall.

Turn 19:  cool more stairs down.

Turn 20: let’s go up through the church and say hi to the elves that live there

Man All those rules were for no reason. The reaction rolls were too high. Everyone heads to the Green dragon inn. Doominator ponders petitioning to have the name changed to Gold Dragon Inn.

Now let’s roll to see if any of Doominator’s horde went missing while he was on his little adventure. On 1-3 yes. On 4-6 no. I rolled a 6. Doominator can’t lose today.