11/5: The City with the Unpronounceable Name

The Party:

Chlotilde - Cleric, 100 years old 

Crotchety Cornelius - Magi User

Hermione the Great - Magi User

Horatio - Cleric

Madeline - Thief

Marcus - Thief

An entirely new group of adventurers arrive in town, contractors for Export and Escort, merchant company. Having left their grain shipment at the brewery, they spend a night drinking and listening to tales of a group that claim to have been underneath the city. Among the wild things that they hear:

·      The townsfolk are immortal as long as they stay in this town and can leave the town only if they wear silly metal hats.

·      The secret to immortality lies underneath the town.

·      The water is undrinkable because the maiden of the clean waters has abandoned the town.

·      Something something embryonic fluid!?

·      There is a secret entrance to the dungeon in the lion fountain at the center of town, massage its ear like a doting mother or a playful lover to open the door.

The new gang gets excited and the next day after brunch, find the secret entrance in the middle of the afternoon. There are children watching and families. They are speaking in a language that none of the characters can understand but the overall vibe is one of nonchalance. Children keep playing. Parents keep gossiping. Passersby keep passing by. Somewhat embarrassed and discomforted by the lack of reaction, the party heads back to the tavern.

The magic user begins studying a spell, having forgotten to earlier (get it together). The rest of the party zero in on an unusual couple in the booth. They are giving off a disturbing overly-intimate-in-public couple vibe. So, of course Chlotilde, Horatio, and Madeline intrude and sit down. The couple’s names are Klarg and Lady Garland. Lady Garland is clearly in charge. Klarg seems like a young ripped jiggolo.

They buy lady Garland and Klarg drinks. Klarg get a fantasy Flemish ale. Klarg hits it off with Horatio. Klarg is not wearing a shirt but Horatio is ready to go wherever this afternoon leads him. Chlotilde and Madeline concoct an incontinence related scheme to get Lady Garland separated from Klarg (Sometimes when you’re 100 years old you just really need to go.).

Instead of pumping Klarg for information, Horatio begins proselytizing. Horatio’s god’s symbol is an elm tree. There are double entendres but little constructive debate on theology. Klarg does say, “Lady Garland is my god.” In the bathroom excrement somehow gets on Lady Garland’s upper lip.

Back in the tavern Klarg tells Horatio that they are going to the dungeon tomorrow evening. The party agrees to be led into the dungeon by Lady Garland and Klarg with some trepidation. There is also some discussion of other local landmarks beside the dungeon. Lady Garland hesitantly mentions the church. At some point Hermione the Great and Marcus show up; don’t think too much about it.

The next evening they meet and head to the dungeon. Lady Garland power walks through the dungeon. The gang barely has time to admire some statues on the first level and say hello to Meef Durbin as he is once again expelled from the Sphinx’s anus.

They start to distrust the lady garland but are too intrigued to abandon her. So Chlotilde feigns exhaustion while the party explores a little bit.

Hermione the Great journeys down a hallway and finds some degenerates being attacked by weird biological constructs.

Horatio has private time with Klarg in a dead garden

The remainder of the party question Lady Garland some more about where they are going. She says she will take them to the 4th level and it really starts to seem like the goal is to perform some sort of ritual that will grant Klarg immortality, who, yes, is definitely her lover.

The party knows they should go but really want to know what is going to happen. They are coaxed down a second set of stairs. Down here are rooms that seem to be made out of grey biological undulating matter. After a few rooms of this mess the party is freaked out enough to stop this charade. They confront Lady Garland and bluntly ask her what is going on. She replies, “You will be sacrificed to grant Klarg immortality, are you coming or are you leaving?”

The party is on the fence. Matilda and Crotchety Cornelius run.    

Horatio decides that the affair is over and attacks Klarg. Chlotiled also attacks Klarg. In short order though Lady Garland puts Marcus and Hermione to sleep and charms Horatio.  Chlotilde sees that the walls are closing in around her (metaphorically, the actual walls have not changed their undulations.).  She offers to willingly go with Lady Garland if the others are set free. Lady Garland’s counter offer is that she will let Madeline and Crotchety Cornelius go. The others who are already incapacitated/under her thrall are forfeit. Chlotilde agrees. She really wants to know what is down there. She enters a blood pact with the lady garland, binding her to the god’s service.

Crotchety Cornelius go get wasted in the tavern, the rest of the party continue into the bowels of the dungeon.