Zander, Larchmont, and Theodora decided after breakfasting at the stronghold to venture out into the dungeon.
They opted to use the more well known entrance through the local public house rather than the recently discovered entrance into a “new” part of the dungeon. The group, worried about size (in more ways than one), minus Lister (and his zombie hoard) were concerned about the number of monsters they encountered in the new dungeon and opted for more well traversed ground.
They took with them the three remaining (living) hired men, Theodora’s dog Bart, their pack mule (Flo), and the orphan girl they shelter, Abbey.
As they still had not recovered the icons requested by the skeletal leader of the corpse worshiping cult they hoped to slip past him. But in a strange twist of fate he is now the bartender in the aforementioned public house. However the group muttered an apology and he waved them off with a grunt. And so all continued on their way.
Larchmont recommended staking the door open to the bar cellar, into the dungeon, for easy access. This was quickly rebuffed as those in the bar really didn’t want to deal with wandering monsters in their basement hiding amidst the kegs, bar nuts, and pickles (of ALL kinds).
The group respects this.
They do however end up in a very long discussion of exactly how one stakes open a door. And what a stake even looks like. Even though they were holding one. Larchmont arguing that one could use a stake like a door stop and Zander saying it pinned the door open (and made noise).
In the end it was decided it could be a door stop.
The dungeon, in the time that had passed since the group had last been there, had entirely filled with the wet, squishy, yellow carpet like mold. It covered the ceiling, walls, and floor.
Like a filled tube. (Oh yeah)
As the group walked into the corridor, planning to fill a skin with the pure water from a font at the end of the corridor, they hear a sloshing noise. Like steps in the mold.
Zander, being the quickest and most nimble, ran to do the task.
Within seconds the group were confronted by four mushroom headed creatures.
Larchmont stepped forward, holding a dagger, and threatened the creatures who did the mushroom version of shitting themselves. They released spores into the air.
Of course they weren’t normal spores. The party, aside from Theodora (who was unaffected) and Zander (who was a good ten feet further away) collapsed to the ground.
Luckily they were not dead!
Zander tossed the healing water to Theodora who forced Larchmont to drink it. He was revived! He then decided to give it to the animals as the water only helps “good” people (and by connection animals) and all animals are good at their base. WRONG. The dog, Bart, WAS a good boy, so he was saved. The mule was more neutral than the group had known and the water caused it to gag and die.
At this time it was decided NOT to give the water to anyone else they didn’t actually KNOW the alignment of.
The conscious part of the group realized that the they had inhaled a hallucinogenic substance and anyone not able to drink the water was, for lack of a better term, tripping balls.
Abbey, the orphan girl
Hired Man 3
Hired Man 2a
Hired Man 2b
Unfortunately the others were hard to manage in their state. And only Abbey and one Hired Man (3) could be lured away with Theodora’s promise of cookies. Hired Man 2a wandered toward the font. Hired Man 2b was lured in my the mushroom men.
The rest of the group fled, slamming the door behind them, Larchmont carrying what he could from the body of the dead mule who they had divested of their goods, planning to return for the corpse and other items later. To give Flo either a proper burial (Zander) or eat her meat (Theodora) because psychedelic meat is better than no meat in these times.
Theodora was holding a bit of a grudge over the dead mule WHO WAS LIKE FAMILY to her. And their main source of carrying items as two members of the party are under 4 feet tall (3 when Herbert is with them).
Larchmont’s whinging over the carrying of just some of Flo’s load stirred the anger of the gnome woman.
Moving further into the dungeon they determined to find another way into the unknown section of dungeon they wanted to search.
First they found an old storage room with NOTHING in it.
Then they entered the corridor where they had met the Gelatinous Cube, leading to Larchmont losing his arm (maybe? People weren’t sure) and Theodora dying (when she was a human, before being resurrected as a gnome), they finally passed through the door they had been unable to open that day.
Inside was quite a sight. A desiccated goblin gnawing on months old corpses. It’s mouth a mess of gore. It eyed them warily but did not attack.
Larchmont, in the way of a noble paladin, offered the beast fresher meat...
And Theodora realized he meant Flo.
Theodora argued.
Theodora was ignored.
That’s what happens to the only woman in the party. Especially when she’s 3 feet tall. Next time she will learn a revenge spell. Then they’ll pay attention.
Larchmont lured the goblin zombie-like creature back to the corridor with the mushroom men and the moment the door opened the spores spilled through. Larchmont and the creature were hit immediately. Zander and Theodora stayed well back and were safe.
At this time an in depth discussion was had between the Halfling and the Gnome. Whether they should bother saving Larchmont or leave him to his psychedelic mushroom fate.
It was then noted that Larchmont and the gore covered zombie goblin were kissing. Deeply. Tongue writhing, spit swapping, deep kissing.
The others tried to contain their utter disgust and not puke.
It was noted that the two hired men that had been unwilling to follow the group were engaged in a similar activity over by the mushroom men.
Finally, it was decided that Larchmont was big and strong and was better as an alive meat shield than a dead fighter. So Zander crept off in the lead of the group who went and collected MORE pure healing water.
They dumped it on the slobbering dueling mouths of the two. Larchmont instantly came back to himself. The zombie’s face on the other hand, as he was not a good guy, immediately began to dissolve in the most disgusting way possible.
It was then that Larchmont knew what he had done, been doing, with the creature. He briefly dry heaved and then repeated stabbed the creature. It didn’t really die but eventually fell to the floor, it’s face a mass of goo, it’s body dissected, but was it truly gone? Who knew. The party slammed the door closed. AGAIN. And moved back down the corridor.
It was noted that Hired Man 2b had wandered off and possibly exited the dungeon in his hallucinating state.
Quickly they returned to the room of the half eaten rotted corpses and Theodora, enterprising gnome that she is, went through their pockets, finding 45 gold pieces. The others stayed away due to their dainty sensibilities and the stench and Larchmont was still trying to spit up zombie taste and get it out of his mouth.
The group passed through the room’s only door finding another room FILLED with naked goblins lying quietly on the floor in corpse pose. While their eyes tracked the group, none moved.
Zander nimbly scaled the walls to examine the space. Another door was found and the group crossed the room between the goblins. Again, none moved.
The room they found though was nothing but a glorified closet. Theodora was annoyed. Larchmont insisted there would be a secret door.
As he searched, crawling along the stone floor, staring at every little crack, thinking he had found something and finding it was nothing, Theodora amused herself by picking up the scattered papers on the floor. Which turned out to be drawings of goblins in a variety of yoga and other tantric like poses. Zander made light of the moment creating flip books with the pictures to the delight of the two. They rolled them up and placed them within her cloak for later perusal.
Larchmont finally gave up, acknowledging that they were in a glorified closet, and the party departed.
They headed on to another door which was further down another corridor. It was locked. Strange.
Blowing the door up was discussed. Picking the lock was discussed. Lighting it on fire was discussed. In the end it was opened and behind the door was a mass of rubble. And what looked like pieces of a castle that had fallen through the earth.
The party felt it could have been the armory and it had fallen down during the destruction of the town. It was decided it would not be safe to go further. And as Larchmont had an appointment to keep on the outside, the group returned to the surface, once more muttering as they passed the skeleton man who they STILL owed 4 idols (3 of which are still lost and one is totally stuck).
Theodora later showed Xylarthan, the magic user who resurrected her and who teaches her further, more impressive, magic, and he was enthralled. He offered 460 gold pieces for the pages which Theodora happily took and shared among the party.
So in the end...
Treasure - 505 gold pieces
Death toll - Florence (Flo) the Mule, the last GODDAMN pack animal in the whole godforsaken town. So no replacing her. And we still have a number of party members who are 4 feet tall and under and can’t actually carry shit. But I’m not mad about it...
Currently Lost - Hired Man 2a (in the dungeon)
Hired Man 2b (escaped the dungeon?)
The end,
Theodora
At this time it was decided NOT to give the water to anyone else they didn’t actually KNOW the alignment of.
The conscious part of the group realized that the they had inhaled a hallucinogenic substance and anyone not able to drink the water was, for lack of a better term, tripping balls.
Abbey, the orphan girl
Hired Man 3
Hired Man 2a
Hired Man 2b
Unfortunately the others were hard to manage in their state. And only Abbey and one Hired Man (3) could be lured away with Theodora’s promise of cookies. Hired Man 2a wandered toward the font. Hired Man 2b was lured in my the mushroom men.
The rest of the group fled, slamming the door behind them, Larchmont carrying what he could from the body of the dead mule who they had divested of their goods, planning to return for the corpse and other items later. To give Flo either a proper burial (Zander) or eat her meat (Theodora) because psychedelic meat is better than no meat in these times.
Theodora was holding a bit of a grudge over the dead mule WHO WAS LIKE FAMILY to her. And their main source of carrying items as two members of the party are under 4 feet tall (3 when Herbert is with them).
Larchmont’s whinging over the carrying of just some of Flo’s load stirred the anger of the gnome woman.
Moving further into the dungeon they determined to find another way into the unknown section of dungeon they wanted to search.
First they found an old storage room with NOTHING in it.
Then they entered the corridor where they had met the Gelatinous Cube, leading to Larchmont losing his arm (maybe? People weren’t sure) and Theodora dying (when she was a human, before being resurrected as a gnome), they finally passed through the door they had been unable to open that day.
Inside was quite a sight. A desiccated goblin gnawing on months old corpses. It’s mouth a mess of gore. It eyed them warily but did not attack.
Larchmont, in the way of a noble paladin, offered the beast fresher meat...
And Theodora realized he meant Flo.
Theodora argued.
Theodora was ignored.
That’s what happens to the only woman in the party. Especially when she’s 3 feet tall. Next time she will learn a revenge spell. Then they’ll pay attention.
Larchmont lured the goblin zombie-like creature back to the corridor with the mushroom men and the moment the door opened the spores spilled through. Larchmont and the creature were hit immediately. Zander and Theodora stayed well back and were safe.
At this time an in depth discussion was had between the Halfling and the Gnome. Whether they should bother saving Larchmont or leave him to his psychedelic mushroom fate.
It was then noted that Larchmont and the gore covered zombie goblin were kissing. Deeply. Tongue writhing, spit swapping, deep kissing.
The others tried to contain their utter disgust and not puke.
It was noted that the two hired men that had been unwilling to follow the group were engaged in a similar activity over by the mushroom men.
Finally, it was decided that Larchmont was big and strong and was better as an alive meat shield than a dead fighter. So Zander crept off in the lead of the group who went and collected MORE pure healing water.
They dumped it on the slobbering dueling mouths of the two. Larchmont instantly came back to himself. The zombie’s face on the other hand, as he was not a good guy, immediately began to dissolve in the most disgusting way possible.
It was then that Larchmont knew what he had done, been doing, with the creature. He briefly dry heaved and then repeated stabbed the creature. It didn’t really die but eventually fell to the floor, it’s face a mass of goo, it’s body dissected, but was it truly gone? Who knew. The party slammed the door closed. AGAIN. And moved back down the corridor.
It was noted that Hired Man 2b had wandered off and possibly exited the dungeon in his hallucinating state.
Quickly they returned to the room of the half eaten rotted corpses and Theodora, enterprising gnome that she is, went through their pockets, finding 45 gold pieces. The others stayed away due to their dainty sensibilities and the stench and Larchmont was still trying to spit up zombie taste and get it out of his mouth.
The group passed through the room’s only door finding another room FILLED with naked goblins lying quietly on the floor in corpse pose. While their eyes tracked the group, none moved.
Zander nimbly scaled the walls to examine the space. Another door was found and the group crossed the room between the goblins. Again, none moved.
The room they found though was nothing but a glorified closet. Theodora was annoyed. Larchmont insisted there would be a secret door.
As he searched, crawling along the stone floor, staring at every little crack, thinking he had found something and finding it was nothing, Theodora amused herself by picking up the scattered papers on the floor. Which turned out to be drawings of goblins in a variety of yoga and other tantric like poses. Zander made light of the moment creating flip books with the pictures to the delight of the two. They rolled them up and placed them within her cloak for later perusal.
Larchmont finally gave up, acknowledging that they were in a glorified closet, and the party departed.
They headed on to another door which was further down another corridor. It was locked. Strange.
Blowing the door up was discussed. Picking the lock was discussed. Lighting it on fire was discussed. In the end it was opened and behind the door was a mass of rubble. And what looked like pieces of a castle that had fallen through the earth.
The party felt it could have been the armory and it had fallen down during the destruction of the town. It was decided it would not be safe to go further. And as Larchmont had an appointment to keep on the outside, the group returned to the surface, once more muttering as they passed the skeleton man who they STILL owed 4 idols (3 of which are still lost and one is totally stuck).
Theodora later showed Xylarthan, the magic user who resurrected her and who teaches her further, more impressive, magic, and he was enthralled. He offered 460 gold pieces for the pages which Theodora happily took and shared among the party.
So in the end...
Treasure - 505 gold pieces
Death toll - Florence (Flo) the Mule, the last GODDAMN pack animal in the whole godforsaken town. So no replacing her. And we still have a number of party members who are 4 feet tall and under and can’t actually carry shit. But I’m not mad about it...
Currently Lost - Hired Man 2a (in the dungeon)
Hired Man 2b (escaped the dungeon?)
The end
Theodora
Dictated but not read..
(sent from my iphone)
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