The Gwar Room

I have that book The Towers Two by Dave Brockie and Jobe Bittman. You may have heard about it Brockie from Gwar was writing an adventure for LOTFP when he passed and Jobe Bittman finished it. It has great Gwar influenced art by Jeremy Duncan. There is something called a cunt whip in the adventure. It’s mostly very good and one of the sources for the megadungeon in my Witherhelm campaign. I have some page numbers written on my map that link up to entries in the book and when players enter that room I look up the encounter in that book. That works because I run games at home and can run to my bookshelf if I need to.

Last session I was not playing at home and the players did something they hadn’t done in months. They entered a Dave Brockie room.  I couldn’t look it up in the book I started panicking; I realized I would have to commune with him astrally. Here is my Gwar Room:

Gwar Room

In the Center of the room a creature undulates as it moves like skin stretched over shaking jelly it makes squishing sounds. Sebaceous fluid leeks from fissures in its skin (I actually pulled out the term ‘sebaceous fluid’ at the table everyone clapped.) The creature is wearing a Viking helmet; it is bulbous and malodorous. As it notices you it starts squirting sebum out its cysts into puddles the area around the monster grows slippery.

16 fascinum surround the monster in a large circle. They are made of gold and silver. I rolled a d12 to see how many were gold and got a 2. The gold ones are worth 2d6 * 100 gold and the silver are worth 3d6 * 10 gold each.

Stats for the Gross Boy

Move:	5’ / turn	Alignment:	Chaotic Evil
Hit Dice:	6	Attacks:	1/ Special
Armor Class	4	Damage:	1d6
Treasure Type	Special (penis statues)	Dexterity:	16

He’s a gross looking tentacled monstrosity, the embodiment of a mix between pubescent male id and pubescent male acne.

When the Gross Boy becomes aware of other creatures he starts shooting eczema or something in puddles all around him. Anyone wishing to approach him must make a dexterity check or slip in the puddles.

He will lash out with tentacles in combat for 1d6 damage. When he is to half his hitpoints he begins vomiting in a cone that is 15’ long and 10’ in diameter at its base. All caught in the vomit’s path must save vs. breath weapon or take 1d6 dmg and must make a dexterity check to take any action. A failure indicates they have slipped in the vomit covering them.